Listen… I thought I was just grabbing a cute little piece of candy.
A sweet treat.
A moment of joy in this chaotic world.
NO.
What I actually put in my mouth was a weaponized peanut brittle with emotional issues.
First bite?
Sweet. Calm. Polite. Like it’s trying to convince you it pays its taxes early.
Second bite?
The jalapeño kicks in like it’s been personally offended you didn’t read the label.
Suddenly the heat is in the group chat, typing in all caps.
My tongue was like, “Is this an attack?”
My eyes were watering for reasons I’m STILL processing.
My soul left my body, looked down at me, and whispered, “Really? This is how we go?”
But here’s the embarrassing part:
I KEPT EATING IT.
Because once you survive the initial betrayal, it’s actually… kind of amazing.
A perfect blend of sweet, spicy, and poor
life choices.
5/5.
Would absolutely recommend if you like snacks that slap you, insult you, and somehow make you say thank you.